Monologue精选：卡扎菲表示：完了
"One of Sarah Palin’s supporters is about to release a documentary about her called ‘The Undefeated.’ That’s like a documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger called ‘The Faithful.’" –Jimmy Fallon
佩林的支持者准备拍摄一部佩林的纪录片，叫做《不可战胜》。就好比施瓦辛格的纪录片叫做《忠诚》。
"President Obama arrived in France for the G8 summit, a meeting of the world’s top economic powers. To give you an idea of how bad our economy is doing, when the president arrived, the other countries were like, ‘What are you doing here?’" –Jay Leno
奥巴马抵达法国参加G8峰会，G8峰会是世界上最强大经济体的会议。告诉你我们的经济已经差到什么地步了，当奥巴马到达会场的时候，其他国家问：你来干什么？
"Sarah Palin may run for President. Doesn’t that thought make you nostalgic for last week when you only thought the world was going to end?" –Jay Leno
佩林有可能竞选总统。你是不是有点怀念上个周末，那时你只是担心世界将要毁灭。
"Today in New York City, Sarah Palin had a meeting with Donald Trump. Now, experts say if those two joined forces on a Presidential ticket it would be the greatest gift ever given to comedy." –Craig Ferguson
今天在纽约市，佩林和特朗普会面。专家说如果他俩联合起来竞选总统的话将是给喜剧界最好的礼物。
"Sarah Palin met with Donald Trump in New York yesterday. They spent the meeting talking about the thing most important to them: TV ratings." –Craig Ferguson
昨天佩林和特朗普在纽约会面。一起讨论了对他们来说最重要的事情：收视率。
"Mitt Romney has announced he’s running for president in 2012. At the same time, he’s announced he’ll try again in 2016." –Stephen Colbert
罗姆尼宣布参加2012大选。同时宣布2016将卷土重来。
"A new poll shows that President Obama is losing the popularity boost he got after Osama bin Laden’s death. Or as Gadhafi’s putting it, ‘Uh oh.’" –Jimmy Fallon
调查显示奥巴马已经丢掉了因为击毙本拉登后上升的民意支持。卡扎菲表示：完了。
"It was so nice in New York City that the whole staff was in Central Park writing Anthony Weiner jokes." –David Letterman
今天纽约天气如此之好，我们团队集体坐在中央公园写关于安东尼维纳的笑话。
"A new Republican presidential poll has Herman Cain, the former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, tied for second with Sarah Palin. Or as Obama put it,’ ‘Do I even need to campaign at this point?’" –Jimmy Fallon
一个新的民调显示，在共和党总统候选人中，一个原披萨店老总的排名跟佩林并列第二。奥巴马甚至在想：我还用竞选拉票吗？
The Oxford English Dictionary announced which new words will be included in the next edition. It’s like when they announce the line-up for “Dancing With the Stars,” but for people who can read. -Craig Ferguson
牛津英语字典宣布了将在下一版中增加的新词，有点像《与星共舞》宣布下一季的阵容，不过是给识字的人看的。
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