Monologue精选：侵犯版权吗？
"Congressman Anthony Weiner has just checked himself into a treatment centre for people battling chronic sexual dysfunction. Checked in? He’s already there, it’s called Congress." –Jay Leno
议员安东尼维纳最近注册了一个治疗性功能障碍的诊疗所。注册？他早就在那里了，叫做国会。
People are bidding for a private lunch with Warren Buffett. So far, the bidding has reached $2 million. Buffett says the first financial tip he’ll give the winner is, “Try not to spend $2 million on lunch.” –Conan O’Brien
大家在竞拍与巴菲特共进午餐的机会，出价已经到了200万美元。巴菲特他将给出的第一条建议就是：不要在一顿午餐上花200万美元。
"A new study found that being bored can be good for your brain. Which explains that new campaign slogan, ‘Mitt Romney: I’m Good For Your Brain.’" –Jimmy Fallon
一个新的研究显示，感觉无聊对大脑有益。这解释了罗姆尼的新竞选口号：我对你大脑有益。
"What?! The congressman had a sex scandal and had to apologize to Bill Clinton? For what?! Copyright infringement? A patent violation?" –Jon Stewart on Anthony Weiner calling to apologize to Bill Clinton, who officiated at his wedding
什么？议员因为性丑闻向克林顿道歉。为什么，侵犯版权吗？
"There’s a heat wave over half of the country. It got so hot in New York, a congressman took off his pants and tweeted a picture of himself." –Jimmy Kimmel
热浪席卷全美国。纽约温度如此之高，以至于一个议员脱掉了裤子，上传了自己一张裸照。
"President Obama has offered bailout money to keep Greece from defaulting on its loans. Yeah, when Greece thanked him, Obama was like, ‘Don’t mention it . . . to China, because it’s their money.’" –Jimmy Fallon
奥巴马为希腊提供了救市基金。希腊人感谢奥巴马，奥巴马说，不要谢我，要谢中国，都是他们的钱。
"Democrats and Republicans are calling for Congressman Anthony Weiner to resign. Late night comedians are asking him to hang in there." –Conan O’Brien
民主党和共和党都在呼吁议员维纳辞职。晚间脱口秀主持人们请求维纳留下。
"TMZ published a photo of Anthony Weiner in the congressional gym. When he heard about it, Newt Gingrich said, ‘There’s a congressional gym?’" –Conan O’Brien
八卦网站公布了维纳在国会健身房的照片。金里奇听说后问：国会还有健身房？
"The economy is so bad that bedbugs are now infesting sleeping bags and tents, because they can’t afford to stay in hotels anymore." –Jay Leno
经济如此低迷，以至于臭虫都开始侵袭睡袋和帐篷了，因为它们已经住不起旅馆了。
How about that Congressman Weiner? This is the worst congressional scandal all week." –David Letterman
安东尼维纳的丑闻是本周最严重的议员丑闻。
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