到哪里都是主场

“A new survey found that only 19% of kids give President Obama an ‘A’ on his first year in office. Malia was like, ‘This is the best possible day to tell dad about my ‘D’ in social studies.’” – Jimmy Fallon

民调显示，只有19%的孩子给奥巴马第一年的表现打了A，他女儿Malia听说后：这可是告诉爸爸我课上只得了D的最好机会。

“Cable news, everyone keeps talking about how much his approval rating has dropped, but he’s the most popular African-American president in history” – Jimmy Kimmel

新闻一直说奥巴马的支持率下降了多少多少，但是别忘了他可是至今为止最受欢迎的非裔总统。

“Listen to this: In 2009, the F.B.I. reported a 20 percent decrease in the number of people robbing banks. There was, however, a huge increase in the number of banks robbing people.” – Jimmy Fallon

看这条，FBI宣布2009年全国抢劫银行人数下降了20%，但是，银行抢劫老百姓的行为增加了很多。

“Wal-Mart announced it’s cutting over 11,000 jobs. Wal-Mart said it’s cheaper to fire people in bulk.” – Jay Leno

沃尔玛宣布裁员11000人，沃尔玛这样做是因为大规模的裁员可以缩减裁员成本。

“That’s an amazing amount of people: 11,000 jobs. The problem is they made the announcement in English, so everybody kept showing up for work.” – Jay Leno

一下裁了这么多人，但问题是，裁员通告用的是英语，所以所有员工都还在照常工作。

“The Israeli army is planning to give its soldiers special new socks that can be worn for two weeks straight without smelling. In other words, they created the socks my college roommate thought he had.” – Jimmy Fallon

以色列在计划生产一种特殊的袜子，可以连续穿两周不变味，我大学室友以为他穿的袜子就是这样的呢。