到哪里都是主场

"Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood said today the Obama administration will soon reopen the U.S. border to Mexican trucks. Of course, this came a huge shock to Mexican truck drivers. They didn’t even know it was closed." –Jay Leno

交通部负责人表示奥巴马政府将很快开放墨美边境的货车通道，此消息震惊了墨西哥的货车司机，他们根本不知道通道关闭了。

"There was a big state dinner at the White House last night in honor of Mexican President Felipe Calderón. The Mexican president pointed out that he and President Obama have a lot in common. He said they are both presidents of two beautiful countries, they’re both left-handed, and they both preside over 40 million Mexican people." –Jay Leno

昨晚白宫举行盛大国宴招待墨西哥总统卡尔德隆，卡尔德隆席间指出他跟奥巴马有很多共同点：执掌的国家都非常美丽，都是左撇子，各领导着四千万墨西哥人。

"And in welcoming Mexico’s president, Felipe Calderon, to the White House today, President Obama told him, ‘We are not defined by our borders.’ The president of Mexico said, ‘What borders?’" –Jay Leno

奥巴马在欢迎辞中说：两国的友谊不会被国界线所隔阂，卡尔德隆打断问：什么国界线？

"The Obama administration has revealed the size of America’s nuclear arsenal. The U.S. has 5,113 warheads, approximately 1,000 of them aimed at China, 1,000 aimed at Russia, and the rest, of course, aimed at Fox News." –Jay Leno

奥巴马政府公布了美国的核储备，美国现有5113个核弹头，1000个瞄准中国，1000个瞄准俄罗斯，剩下的都瞄着福克斯新闻台。

"Police in Cairo have detained an American man who arrived on a flight from JFK with two handguns, 250 bullets, swords, daggers and knives in his luggage. When they heard this, JFK screeners were like, ‘Sure he had all these things, but here’s what he didn’t have — bottled water or nail clippers.’" –Jimmy Fallon

开罗警方扣留一名从纽约肯尼迪机场来的美国人，他携带了2把枪，250发子弹，很多剑，匕首和刀在行李里，肯尼迪国际机场的安检人员听说后：虽然他有那些东西，但他绝对不会携带水和指甲刀。

"And it looks like we may be getting a new Supreme Court justice from New York City. Her name is Elena Kagan. And she’s apparently very, very smart. Here’s how smart she is: The woman actually understands New York City parking signs." –David Letterman

我们要有一位新的大法官了，她来自纽约，非常聪明–她能看懂纽约市的停车指示牌。

"According to the top people in the petroleum industry, the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico will not affect gas prices. They said, ‘They were going up anyway.’" –Jay Leno

据石油行业的高层人士透露，墨西哥湾原油泄露事件不会影响汽油价格—-无论如何都会涨的。

"During a speech in Ohio yesterday, President Obama reminded the crowd that the economy was much worse a year ago. Then the crowd reminded him that he was already president a year ago." –Jimmy Fallon

昨天在俄亥俄的一次演讲中，奥巴马对听众说经济形势一年前的时候要比现在差很多，人群里立刻有人提醒他说去年你就是总统了。