Monologue精选：输的一方将负责清理墨西哥湾
"You know who performed at the Rush Limbaugh wedding? Elton John. Isn’t that amazing. It proves that there’s absolutely no ideological gap that a million-dollar check can’t bridge." –David Letterman
你知道谁是Rush Limbaugh婚礼的表演嘉宾？Elton John，不可思议，证明了那句老话：有钱能使鬼推磨。
"Today, President Obama spoke at Kalamazoo’s central high school graduation ceremony in Michigan. He told the students they could be anything they want to be, but if they could be oil leak experts, that could be great." –Jimmy Fallon
今天，奥巴马在密歇根的一个高中演讲，他对学生说：你们将会实现任何梦想，不过，如果能成为油田泄露施救专家，那最好不过了。
"Looks like this Gore divorce could end up being pretty costly. In fact, Al Gore now talking about only trying to save half the planet." –Jay Leno
看起来戈尔离婚的代价是相当大，现在戈尔只是谈论如何挽救半个地球了。
"A lot of people are upset and wondering why President Obama is willing to sit down with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad but not BP CEO Tony Hayward. I think Obama is afraid — Ahmadinejad only threatened to destroy the world and Hayward is actually doing it." –Jay Leno
很多人纳闷为什么奥巴马愿意坐下来和内贾德会谈，却不愿跟BP的CEO Tony Hayward会面，我觉得奥巴马是害怕了，内贾德只是宣称要毁灭地球，但Hayward已经动手了。
"The first big match of the World Cup is the U.S. vs. Britain. The loser has to clean up the Gulf." –Jay Leno
世界杯第一场重头戏是美国对英格兰，输的一方将负责清理墨西哥湾。
"There is good news. Scientists sent a probe down there in the Gulf of Mexico today and they found traces of seawater." –Bill Maher
好消息，在墨西哥湾，科学家用探针发现了海水的痕迹。
"President Obama is now in the Gulf of Mexico. This is his fourth visit since the spill. So the president has been down there four times. And the head of BP is saying, ‘Well see, it hasn’t affected tourism.’" –David Letterman
奥巴马又去了墨西哥湾，这已经是漏油事件以来的第四次，BP高层说：看，没影响旅游业吧。
"You guys, ‘Top Chef D.C.’ premieres tonight on Bravo. I love that show. But since it’s in D.C., the contestants don’t actually cook; they just talk about what they’re going to cook in the future." –Jimmy Fallon
华盛顿厨艺大赛今晚将在Bravo电视台首播，我喜欢看这节目，不过因为是在首都的比赛，所以参赛者不需要真做出来东西，只需要谈论一下将要做什么就可以了。
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