到哪里都是主场

"General McChrystal was relieved of his duties because of derogatory comments he made about President Obama and other White House staffers. In fact, when he heard that, Joe Biden was shocked and said, ‘What? You can get fired for saying something stupid? What? When’d they start that? Is that new?’" –Jay Leno

美国驻阿富汗的McChrystal将军因为发表对奥巴马和政府官员的贬损言论而遭到解职。副总统拜登听到这个事后被吓到了：什么？说一些愚蠢的话就会被解职？什么时候开始的？是不是新施行的？

"President Obama said today, although he admires McChrystal’s service and dedication to his country, he said, ‘You don’t criticize your bosses.’ Okay, that’s the same reason President Obama never says anything bad about the Chinese." –Jay Leno

奥巴马今天说，虽然他很感激McChrystal将军为美国做出的奉献，但是，‘不应该批评你的老板’，同样的原因，奥巴马从来没说过中国的坏话。

"The confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan will be shown live Monday on C-SPAN 3. You know it’s going to be boring when C-SPAN 2 passes on it." –Jimmy Fallon

最高大法官候选人Elena Kagan的就职听证会周一将在C-SPAN 3直播，连C-SPAN 2都并不愿意直播可见得有多无聊。

"They’re having the confirmation hearings down in Washington, D.C., with Elena Kagan. And so far, the woman has offered very few opinions. I thought to myself, well, my God — how do you find a woman like that?" –David Letterman

Elena Kagan的听证会在华盛顿举行，她在听证会过程中很少发表意见，我心想，天啊—你们是怎么找到这样的女人的。
"Mexico has filed a brief against Arizona’s new immigration law. It’s a precedent because it’s the first immigration law Mexico has paid any attention to." –Jay Leno

墨西哥对亚利桑那最新的反非法移民法提出抗议，这是史无前例的，因为这是墨西哥第一次关注移民方面的法律。

"The longest-serving member of Congress, Sen. Robert Byrd of West Virginia, died at the age of 92. He may have passed away in 1982, no one is really sure." –Jimmy Kimmel

史上任期最长的西弗吉尼亚州国会议员Robert Byrd去世了，享年92岁，他也可能是1982年去世的，没人能确定。

"It’s not the G-20 anymore. It’s now the G-19, because Ghana eliminated the United States." –David Letterman

这已经不是G-20峰会了，现在是G-19，因为加纳刚刚淘汰了美国。

"The Russian spies tried to blend in. They were acting like Americans. As a matter of fact, for two weeks, they were pretending they loved soccer." –David Letterman

俄罗斯间谍最近在伪装成美国人活动，实际上，为了装成美国人，他们这两周也装作喜欢足球。

"BP is running with this, I guess. Their company newsletter has an article that says most gulf residents aren’t upset with BP because their cleanup crews have boosted the local economy. BP taking credit for boosting the economy in the gulf is like al Qaeda taking credit for creating jobs in airport security." –Jimmy Kimmel

BP公司的新闻简报的一篇文章说，墨西哥湾沿岸的居民对BP没有不满，因为BP负责清理石油的工人刺激了当地的经济增长，这就好比基地组织因为增加了美国机场保安的工作机会而邀功一样。