到哪里都是主场

"So Jeb Bush is running for president. I don’t know about the rest of the country, but thank God, ladies and gentlemen, the comedy recession is over!" —David Letterman

布什弟弟Jeb Bush要竞选总统了，我不知道别人怎么评论，但是谢天谢地，喜剧萧条期要结束了。

"Political experts and pundits and people who know the Bushes are saying that Jeb Bush is smarter than his brother. That’s damning with faint praise, isn’t it? Who the hell isn’t smarter than his brother, for God’s sake?" —David Letterman

熟悉布什家族的评论家表示Jeb Bush比他哥聪明，这是明褒实贬，谁不比他哥乔治布什聪明呢。

"Tony Hayward is stepping down as CEO of BP. They weren’t supposed to make the announcement yet, but of course, the news leaked." –Craig Ferguson

Tony Hayward辞去了BP的CEO职位，还没有正式宣布，消息“泄露”出来的。

"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said that Paul the Octopus is a symbol of decadence and decay in the western world. Which is exactly what Paul the Octopus predicted he would say." –Jimmy Fallon

伊朗总统内贾德说章鱼保罗是西方世界腐朽和落后的象征，这也是保罗预测他要说的话。

"Scientists are saying that a giant asteroid could strike the earth in 2182, and that it could decimate the planet and destroy most forms of life. A spokesman for BP said, ‘Been there, done that.’" –Craig Ferguson

科学家宣称2182年一颗小行星会撞击地球，摧毁地球上绝大部分生命。BP一位发言人表示：Just Did It。

“Whiny Tony Hayward — you know the cry-baby BP CEO guy — he says life’s not fair and that sometimes you step off a curb and you get hit by a bus. You know, if life was fair, that bus would have been driven by an unemployed Louisiana shrimp boat operator.” -Jay Leno

BP的CEO说：生活是不公平的，有时候你走下人行道或许就被一辆公交车撞了。我觉得生活要是公平的话，公交司机一定是路易斯安那州一个失业的捕虾船员。

"Yesterday was President Obama’s birthday. He turned 49 years old, if you believe the liberal media." –Jimmy Kimmel

昨天是奥巴马的生日，他49岁了，如果你相信左派媒体的话。

"The president is 49 years old, but it’s never a good sign when your age is higher than your political approval rating." –David Letterman

奥巴马已经49岁了，当你的年龄超过你的支持率，不是个好现象。

"Billionaire Republican and former eBay CEO Meg Whitman says she has spent more 99 million of her own money to get elected of governor of California. I think she thinks it’s like eBay, the office goes to the highest bidder." –Jay Leno

亿万富翁，共和党员，前eBay CEO梅格·惠特说她已经花了九千九百万美元竞选加州州长。她以为竞选是在eBay上买东西呢，出价最高的胜出。