到哪里都是主场

今天看书看到一段话，乐死我了。据说是来自一个中国经济杂志主编的退稿信，源自《Rotten Rejections》，一本专门收集退稿信的书。

"We have read your manuscript with boundless delight. If we publish your paper, it would be impossible for us to publish any work of lower standard. And as it is unthinkable that in the next thousand years we shall see its equal, we are, to our regret, compelled to return your divine composition, and to beg you a thousand times to overlook our short sight and timidity."

写的真是太牛了

A Brief Dictionary of Phrases Used In Mathematical Writing

原文：http://www.math.psu.edu/tseng/dictionary.html

ANALOGUE – This is an analogue of: I have to have some excuse for publishing it.

APPLICATIONS – This is of interest in applications: I have to have some excuse for publishing it.

COMPLETE – The proof is now complete: I can’t finish it.

DETAILS – I cannot follow the details of X’s proof: It’s wrong.

DIFFICULT – This problem is difficult: I don’t know the answer. (Cf. Trivial)

GENERALITY – Without loss of generality: I have done an easy special case.

IDEAS – To fix the ideas: To consider the only case I can do.

INGENIOUS – X’s proof is ingenious: I understand it.

INTEREST – It may be of interest: I have to have some excuse for publishing it.

INTERESTING – X’s proof is interesting: I don’t understand it.

KNOWN – This is a known result but I reproduce the proof for the convenience of the reader: My paper isn’t long enough.

LANGUAGE – PAR ABUS DE Language: In the terminology used by other authors. (Cf. Notation)

NATURAL – It is natural to begin with the following considerations: We have to start somewhere.

NEW – This was proved by X but the following new proof may present points of interest: I can’t understand X.

NOTATION – To simplify the notation: It is too much trouble to change now.

OBSERVED – It will be observed that: I hope you have not noticed that.

READER – The details may be left to the reader: I can’t do it.

REFEREE – I wish to thank the referee for the suggestions: I loused it up.

STRAIGHTFORWARD – By a straightforward computation: I lost my notes.

TRIVIAL – This problem is trivial: I know the answer. (Cf. difficult)

WELL-KNOWN – This result is well-known: I can’t find the reference.

"John McCain has finally decided on his vice president. The only question now is from which house will he make the announcement." –David Letterman

麦凯恩终于选好了副总统人选，现在唯一的疑问就是他会在他的哪个家里宣布这个人选。

"President Bush spoke at a campaign rally in support of John McCain. They raised millions and millions of dollars, most of which will be used to repair the damage of President Bush supporting John McCain at a campaign rally. So it’s kind of a wash" –Jay Leno

布什总统宣布支持麦凯恩，同时募集了几百万捐款，但这些钱大部分都要用来弥补因为布什支持他造成的损失。

"Earlier today, John McCain released 1,200 pages of his medical records. Or, as his doctor calls it, Chapter One." –Conan O’Brien

今天早些时候，麦凯恩公布了他1200多页的医疗记录，他的医生说那只是他的记录的第一章。

"John McCain’s daughter is in the news. John McCain’s daughter says that a lot of guys don’t want to date her because her dad makes her too high-profile. Yeah. That’s part of the reason. It’s also because McCain’s daughter is 63 years old." –Conan O’Brien

麦凯恩的女儿说很多男的不敢约会她，因为他父亲的原因。那只是部分原因，还因为她已经63岁了。

"The New York Times is claiming that John McCain, who is 71 years old, had an inappropriate relationship with a woman who is a Washington lobbyist. The good news is there’s no footage. Political experts say this could be a huge scandal for McCain because he’s married and the woman he’s accused of having an affair with is 31 years younger than he is. In a related story, earlier today McCain was endorsed by Bill Clinton." –Conan O’Brien

纽约时报报道71岁的麦凯恩与一位女子有不正当关系，但是没有证据。政治分析家认为这是一个巨大的丑闻，因为麦凯恩已经结婚了，而且这个女子比她小31岁。相关的一条新闻是：克林顿宣布公开支持麦凯恩。

"They have debated so much that they are now debating about debating. Did you see this? A lot of this debate was about the power of words. Hillary said, ‘Actions speak louder than words,’ Then Obama said, ‘Words can speak as loud as actions.’ And then McCain said, ‘Speak louder!’" –Bill Maher

他们辩论的太多了，以至于在辩论辩论本身。大部分的辩论都纠缠在口号上，希拉里说：行胜于言；奥巴马说：言也很重要。麦凯恩说：大点声（没听清你们在说什么）。

"This campaign is kind of fascinating, because the three major candidates have to be very careful when they criticize each other. Like, you can’t criticize Hillary. Ooh, that’s sexism. You can’t criticize Barack. Ooh, that’s racism. And you can’t go after McCain, because that’s elder abuse." –Jay Leno

现在竞选越来越有意思了，三位主要竞选人批评对方的时候必须非常小心，因为批评希拉里是性别歧视，批评奥巴马是种族歧视，批评麦凯恩是年龄歧视。

"Congratulations to John McCain. He was a big winner up in New Hampshire. Fascinating comeback story, this John McCain, quite a guy. Highly decorated veteran. Spent five and a half years in prison then went into politics. Usually it’s the other way around." –Jay Leno

祝贺麦凯恩在新罕布什威尔的胜利，麦凯恩可牛了，退伍老兵，在监狱里过了5年半，然后涉足政坛，大部分人都是相反的顺序的。

"John McCain has a new campaign slogan, ‘An Army Of One.’ … I don’t want to say McCain’s campaign is broke, but today he held a rally at the 99-cent store." –Jay Leno

麦凯恩发布了新的竞选口号，“团结的（一块钱）军队，今天他在99分店举办了竞选集会。

"President Bush announced he has decided to visit Vietnam. The president said ‘It must be a pretty nice place. I hear John McCain spent five years there.’" –Conan O’Brien

布什宣布出访越南，他说：“听说麦凯恩在那生活了5年半，那一定是个不错的地方。”

"Yesterday at a political rally, Governer Arnold Schwarzenegger called John McCain ‘a great senator and a very good friend.’ Apparently, Arnold likes McCain because it’s so much easier to pronounce than Giuliani." –Conan O’Brien

昨天的集会上，加州州长施瓦辛格宣布支持麦凯恩，显然，他这么说是因为麦凯恩比朱利亚尼的名字好读。

Late-Night Jokes About John McCain

By Daniel Kurtzman, About.com  

原文http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/johnmccain/a/johnmccainjokes.htm

1. "McCain kept talking about how he could help this man. If McCain really wants to help this guy, you now what he should do? Just have him re-pipe all of McCain’s houses. That would be a job for life." –Jay Leno, on Joe the Plumber

“麦凯恩不停的说要帮助这个人。如果真想帮他的话，他应该让他重新布置自己所有房子的管道，够干他一辈子了。”（麦凯恩在美国有十几处房产）

2. A woman at a John McCain rally said that Barack Obama is an Arab. And McCain quickly corrected her. It was really awkward, because McCain had to tell her, ‘Look, Governor Palin, you are wrong.’" –Jay Leno

麦凯恩的竞选集会上有个女的说奥巴马是阿拉伯人。麦凯恩立刻纠正了她。太尴尬了，因为麦凯恩说：“佩林，这么说是不对的。”
3. "Barack Obama, what a guy. He is actually going door to door, knocking on doors in a neighborhood, asking people if they’ll vote for him. Coincidentally, John McCain is also going door to door, except when he knocks on a door, he says, ‘Do I live here?’" –David Letterman

”奥巴马，太了不起了。实际上他竞选的时候挨家挨户的敲门，问是否会投他的票。巧合的是，麦凯恩也这么做，但他问的问题是：“这是我的家吗？”（理解同1）
4. "Did you watch the debate last night? I gave up drinking a while ago, but I started again. And I’m watching the debate last night, and I did a shot every time John McCain said, ‘My friends.’ And so I am just blotto." –David Letterman

“你们看昨晚的总统辩论了吗？我之前戒酒了，但是昨晚又开始喝，边看边喝，每次麦凯恩说‘My Friends’的时候，我就喝一口，结果我烂醉如泥。”
5. "It got a little heated at one point during the debate. McCain talked about experience and he said, ‘We don’t have time for on-the-job training.’ Then why did you pick Sarah Palin?" –Jay Leno

“昨晚总统辩论有点过于激烈了。麦凯恩谈到经验，他说：“我们没有时间进行“在职”培训。”但你为啥还选佩林作为竞选伙伴呢？
6. "And the only really new proposal last night came from John McCain. McCain proposed buying up bad homeowner mortgages. Not to save the middle class. You know McCain, he just likes buying houses." –Jay Leno

“昨晚唯一新的提案来自麦凯恩，他提议购买不良房贷，不是为了要帮助中产阶级。你要是知道麦凯恩的话，他就是喜欢买房子。”

7. "Yesterday the stock market suffered its biggest one-day drop in history, falling 777 points. I’m telling you, boy, it’s a good thing John McCain blew me off to go save the economy." –David Letterman

“昨天华尔街创造了历史单日最大跌幅，跌了777点。看吧，这就是麦凯恩放我鸽子去拯救经济危机的后果。”（麦凯恩爽约Letterman的节目）
8. "I felt bad about this. Because we were all ready to go with John McCain and with an hour to go, he cancels. I felt bad about it. I was thinking about this, John, John, here’s how it works. You don’t come to see me? Well, we might not see you on Inauguration Day." –David Letterman

“我感觉不爽，因为我们都准备好麦凯恩今晚出现在节目中，但是录影前一小时，他爽约了。我太不爽了，你知道我是怎么想的吗，小麦子啊小麦子，你不来上我的节目，我们不让你出现在明年初的总统宣誓就职仪式上。”

9. "Can you imagine if she was president right now? They hacked into her email account. She couldn’t even keep that safe. Somebody hacked into her Yahoo! email account. They don’t know who did it. They know it’s someone who understood technology and was interested in her background. So we can rule out McCain." –Bill Maher

“你能想象她现在要是总统会是什么样子吗？有人黑了她的email。她甚至不能保护她的账户，有人破解了她在yahoo的email密码。现在还不知道是谁干的，但应该是一个懂得电脑技术，而且对她的背景感兴趣的人。这样就排除了麦凯恩。”
10. "The Wall Street Journal said today Democrats are sending an army of lawyers and investigators up to Alaska to look into the background of Sarah Palin. And of course, John McCain is furious. He said, ‘Hey, if I didn’t look into her background, there’s no reason you should be looking into her background.’" –Jay Leno

“华尔街日报报道民主党派了一些律师和调查员到阿拉斯加去调查佩林的背景。麦凯恩很不爽，他说：我都不去调查她的背景，你们更不应该去啊。”
11. "How are you going to be the vice president of the United States with five kids to take care of? She’s got a four-month-old of her own, she’s about to become a grandmother, and she’s partnered with John McCain. How many diapers can one woman possibly change?" –Jimmy Kimmel

“一个5个孩子母亲的人怎么能当副总统呢，其中还有一个才四个月大，马上她还要成为祖母了，她的搭档还是麦凯恩，她一天得换多少尿布啊？”

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman

WEAKLY HUMERUS NEWS 11-08-08

http://rambodoc.wordpress.com/2008/11/10/weakly-humerus-news-11-08-08/

There was a huge celebration over at Barack Obama headquarters, otherwise known as MSNBC. (Jay Leno)

奥巴马的竞选中心举行了盛大的庆祝活动，那地方也被叫做MSNBC

At the end of the evening, the electoral vote count was 349 for Obama, 148 for McCain. Or, as Fox News says, too close to call. (David Letterman)

晚些时候的竞选结果显示，奥巴马349票，麦凯恩148票。或者按照Fox的说法，太接近以至于还无法做出预测。

Barack Obama is our new president. I think I speak for everybody when I say, “Anybody mind if he starts a little early?” (David Letterman)

奥巴马是我们的新总统，我想代表大家说：大家不介意他早点上台吧？

So, Barack Obama won, John McCain lost. Let this be a lesson to us all: never, EVER stand up David Letterman. (Tim Hunter)

所以，奥巴马赢了，麦凯恩输了。记住这个教训，千万别放David Letterman的鸽子。（早些时候麦凯恩爽约David Letterman的节目）

So many voters were deciding on state issues like abortion and same-sex marriage. Do you realize, with a same sex marriage, there can be no abortion? I didn’t hear anybody using that argument. (Joe Hickman)

很多投票者开始讨论堕胎和同性婚姻。事实上是，同性婚姻就不会有堕胎。为什么没有人这么想呢。

Barack Obama bought a half hour of prime time TV on seven networks to run a commercial. But John McCain was able to counter it with his usual 24 hour time slot on Fox News. (Jim Barach)

奥巴马在7大电视网买下了半个小时广告时间来宣传自己。但是麦凯恩可以24小时出现在Fox的新闻中。

And political analysts are saying today that Barack Obama’s win was unprecedented. Which again confused President Bush. He said, “Unprecedented? You mean, he didn’t win? He got unpresidented?” (Jay Leno)

所有政治评论家今天都在说奥巴马的胜利是史无前例的，这让布什很不解，史无前例（unprecedented）？你们是说他没赢？他不是总统（unpresidented）？