NBC官网视频地址：http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/update-fred-and-gov-paterson/1251383/?__cid=thefilter

现任纽约州长David Patterson是纽约州历史上第一位非裔州长和美国历史上第二位盲人州长。这些年来，SNL的Fred Armisen多次在节目里模仿他，将其塑造成一个思维混论，年轻时嗑药玩女人，而且喜欢贬损新泽西州的非裔盲人，引起过美国盲人协会的抗议，David Patterson本人对此恶俗模仿也极为不满。

三周前，SNL第36季开播，Weekend Updates提到下半年的纽约州长竞选，顺势请出现任州长评价两位候选人，因为他本人已决定不参加竞选连任。于是，Fred Armisen扮作David Patterson又一次出场，坐着转椅慢慢滑向新闻台。。。

主持人Seth Meyer第一个问题是如何看待两位候选人，“州长”回答：大家都关注他俩，我感觉被忽略了，自从《Avatar》上映之后很久没有被忽略的感觉了。不过这是一个势均力敌的竞选，无论你选谁，都像去Olive Garden（美国的意大利餐馆连锁）点菜一样，上来的都是油腻腻一团糟。（"It’s like ordering at the Olive Garden. No matter what you get, it’s going to be a greasy mess,"）。

继续调侃了一下布法罗和纽约上州之后，假州长开始例行贬损新泽西州：If I want to see a bunch of animals having sex, I would go to New Jersey. Seth说：Let’s leave New Jersey out of this. 他接：that is what constitution should have said。然后开始拿失明说事，这时真正的纽约州长David Patterson突然出现在镜头中。

SNL的一个传统就是演员们模仿政客，然后在某一期模仿中，政客本人突然出现，克林顿，奥巴马，戈尔，希拉里，麦凯恩和佩林，都以这样的方式上过节目。他们上节目不是抢戏，不是借机宣扬自己，而是得配合着演员们自嘲。

于是搞笑的场面再度上演，右边是真州长，左边是模仿者，一个真的看不见，一个装成盲人。真州长说：这么长时间，我受够了，这次是真的州长来了，不是拙劣的模仿。对Fred说，我一年前就刮胡子了，你怎么还留着。然后不忘调侃下SNL：我的任期即将结束，当州长这事就像看SNL，开始十分钟还挺有意思，之后你就想走人了。

随后真州长说了几句正经话，提一下自己在任的政绩。然后主持人道歉，说实在对不起这几年恶意的模仿你。真州长回：无所谓了，不过这些年你们一直拿我失明说事，我都忘了自己是黑人了（啊哈哈哈哈）。主持人：我们以后不再取笑盲人了。真州长：盲人的其他感官异常发达的，比如我能嗅到现场有15个人来自新泽西（啊哈哈哈）。

然后Weekend Update继续，这时真假州长又摸到摄像机前开始私下对话，遮挡正在播报的主持人Amy Poehler，正是之前Fred经典的模仿盲人桥段。

观感：美国政客是真敢自嘲啊，一点面子都不留给自己。

纽约州长Paterson接受调查，因为受贿扬基队的球票，如果有罪的话，将被判去看Mets队的比赛。

"Rush Limbaugh says if the healthcare bill passes, he will leave the country. The Democrats are upset, because if they knew that, they would have passed the bill years ago." –Craig Ferguson

Rush Limbaugh说如果医保方案通过的话，他将离开美国，民主党很听到很沮丧，因为早知道的话，几年前就通过它了。

"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad now says that 9/11, the attacks on the United States on 9/11, were fabricated. Like his re-election." –David Letterman

伊朗总统内贾德说911是伪造的，就像他的连任一样。

"But the guy seriously is nuts. He also denies that Conan O’Brien ever hosted ‘The Tonight Show.’" –David Letterman

但是内贾德完全是个混蛋，他甚至不承认Conan主持过今夜秀。

"Toyota says they’re standing beside their vehicles — because that’s the only safe place to stand." –Jimmy Kimmel

丰田表示将永远站在丰田车边上（支持自己的产品），因为那是唯一安全的地方。

"They have two hosts this year for the Academy Awards. Who says Obama isn’t creating jobs?" –David Letterman

奥斯卡今年有俩主持，谁说奥巴马没有创造就业岗位来着?

"Everyone watch the Oscars last night? Big night for ‘The Hurt Locker’, which of course is a film about the war in Iraq, which, I guess explains why Obama called the director and was like, ‘How did you end it?’" –Jimmy Fallon

《拆弹部队》大获全胜，那是一部关于伊拉克战争的电影，所以奥巴马打电话给导演问：你们是怎么结束（拍摄）的？

"Record ratings for the Oscars last night. Kathryn Bigelow won best director for her film about the Iraq war. But in her speech, she forgot to thank the two people without whom this film could never have been made — Bush and Cheney." –Jay Leno

Kathryn Biglow赢得最佳导演，在获奖演讲中，她忘了感谢造就这部电影最关键的两个人物，布什和切尼。

另外她没有首先感谢美利坚合众国，没有感谢民主党和共和党，遭到全场的嘘声。 – Duo Wang

奥巴马支持率降到46%，意味着54%的人不满他在任的表现，我觉得这根本就是不公平的，我们至少得等到他干点啥吧。

“President Obama is traveling to Asia this week. He’ll be making a trip to China. While he’s there, Obama plans to visit the Forbidden City, the Great Wall, and America’s money.” – Conan O’Brien

奥巴马本周出访亚洲，将访问中国，在那里奥巴马准备去参观下紫禁城，长城和我们美国的钱。

“President Obama left this morning on a ten day trip to Asia. He assigned his kids some important chores. He said that while he’s gone, Sasha has to walk the dog, and Malia has to walk Biden.” – Jimmy Fallon

奥巴马开始10天亚洲之行，他临走给孩子布置了重要的任务，他说：我不在的时候，Sasha你要遛狗，Malia你要溜拜登。

“Gov. David Paterson made a shocking statement today. He said, ‘New York will be broke by Christmas.’ Today, Gov. Schwarzenegger said, ‘Christmas? What’s your secret? How’d you last so long?’” – Jay Leno

纽约州长David Paterson发表震撼声明：纽约在圣诞节前要破产，加州州长斯瓦辛格听了：圣诞节？有啥秘诀吗，你们咋能挺那么长时间呢？

“In her new book, Sarah Palin claims that before John McCain chose her as his running mate, his campaign spent $50,000 on a background check. Yeah. When he heard this, John McCain said, we should have spent $75,000.” – Conan O’Brien

在佩林新书里，佩林说麦凯恩选择自己作为竞选搭档前花了5万美元做她的背景调查，麦凯恩听到后，后悔道：再花两万五就好了。

“Sarah Palin’s got that book out, that ‘Going Rogue.’ And she says that she was upset with John McCain because at the end of the election night, the McCain people would not let her deliver a concession speech. And I thought, don’t worry, Sarah, I’m sure you’ll get another opportunity.” – David Letterman

佩林新书里说对麦凯恩很不满，因为大选出结果那晚他不让自己发表一个败选演讲，我觉得吧，别急，她肯定有机会的。

“Last week, an 11-year-old boy shot and killed a black bear that wouldn’t leave his family’s front porch. Right after that, Sarah Palin wanted to know if he would be her running mate for 2012.” –Jimmy Fallon

上周一11岁小男孩射杀一只在院里逗留的黑熊，事后，佩林想知道这小孩愿不愿意做自己2012年的竞选搭档。

“And then President Obama went to China and you know, China is the world’s third largest economy, right behind Japan and Oprah.” – David Letterman

奥巴马访问中国，中国是世界第三大经济体，仅次于日本和Oprah。

“In Sarah Palin’s new book, she says when she first laid eyes on her future husband, she said out loud, ‘Thank you, God,’ which is the same thing the Democrats said when they first laid eyes on Sarah Palin.” – Conan O’Brien

佩林新书里写到，当她第一次看到日后的丈夫的时候，她说，“谢天谢地啊，太好了！”这跟民主党第一次看到竞选对手是她发出的感慨一样。